Seasonal Produce

"'You've heard of the fury of a woman scorned, haven't you?'

'Yeah, I guess I have.'

'Well, that's nothing compared to the fury of a woman who has been cheated out of trick-or-treats. "

-from It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, 1966

Oh boy. Halloween is coming. Folks are hollowing out their turnips as we speak. There is going to be a parade. A carnival. A thousand people are going to come, dripping caramel. The wind is whisking the leaves in little spirals in anticipation. As for me, I am going to hide until the revelers have come and gone, the shrieks quiet, and the neighborhood wakes to find pumpkin guts strewn up and down the streets.